There are a few things I need to wrap up to officially end my employment. There's a letter that needs to be signed promising not to sue them, a laptop that needs to be returned as well as a company car...Which brings me to today's dilemma of the "Rollerskate" aka "The Moldy Volkswagen."
My personal car is a 2000 VW Cabrio. Affectionately named "The Rollerskate" by a previous coworker. It became "The Moldy Volkswagen" when I unintentionally left the window down one weekend during severe thunderstorms and gale force winds. I didn't discover this little mishap until a nice furry sheet of mold began to grow on the dash and console. Did I mention the airbags are deployed and it won't start? Complete disaster.
Anyway, being that I have to turn my company car in, I need to get The Skate up to par which means 1). Get it started 2). Free it from any toxic fungi that breed air born illnesses and cause major respiratory distress. and 3). Make sure it's operable which includes, but is not limited to checking the brakes and other important and necessary safety features.
So, we hooked The Skate up to the battery charger for a good two hours. Nothing. Being that it is parked at the front of my long, skinny driveway we had to push the car into the street enough so we could hook another car up to try and jump it. First, we used Josh's car. Nothing. Then we used the company car, which provided enough juice to give the vehicle power, activate the auto locks and effectively lock the keys inside the car.
At this point it took us 45 minutes to shovel the car out and push it down the ice covered driveway and less than 7 minutes to lock the keys inside. Super.
I knew I had an extra set, but I had NO CLUE where that extra set was. So, I decided to try the old coat hanger through the window in the door trick while Josh looked for the keys. Of course this drew a crowd. My neighbor came out asking if I needed any help and just as I was about to tell him to bring me a tire iron and a bottle of Tequila, Josh appeared with the keys.
Through all of our blood, sweat and tears we were unable to get the car started, so I decided to call the local service station, which, is important to note, is located less than a block from my house. A young mechanic answered the phone and I explained my dilemma. I get my car serviced there, oil changes and even most recently new brakes. He stated that I would probably need a tow and that they have a tow truck. Great! I told him where I lived and said that would be wonderful! How much? "$79."
*crickets chirping crickets chirping crickets chirping*
You mean to tell me that I live so close that if I were to step outside my house I could throw my phone in your direction and being that my aim is unparalleled, would most probably hit you upside your stupid head and you want to charge me $79 for a FREAKING tow? " I said I think I can come up with a more appropriate option, let me talk it over with my husband. To which he replied, "O.K. and if you can't think of anything maybe we can find something." Yeah...Right...Maybe I can find enough restraint to not run you over with The Skate the next time I pass by.
So out of principal and complete stubbornness I decided to hire another auto shop to pick it up, tow it in and get it started. I am sure the bill will be impressive, at least as impressive as import auto repair bills and 10 mile tows go. Be assured that when the time comes I will brace myself and have a box of Kleenex at hand.
